DEAR NASS, GET SOME SENSE; RETUNE NIGERIA’S PRIORITIES

(By Ifedimma Onwugbufor)

According to a publication on Vanguard newspaper of May 12th, 2016, a bill was sponsored by Senator Ovie Omo-Agege and co-sponsored by 46 other senators which “seeks to completely prohibit any form of sexual relationship between lecturers and their students …” According to Senator Omo-Agege, “the nation’s institutions of higher learning must be sanitized to rid them of lecturers who saw female students as a ‘prize’”.

Of course, sadism is endemic and if nothing sells in Nigeria, it is hypocrisy and bigotry - they top the list. This one-way zombie faculty is the reason the same group of people who frustrated the removal of fuel subsidy in 2012, which would have augured better for the nation’s economy were it implemented, make up today’s government that is eventually effecting the same fuel subsidy removal after four years.

All of sudden, one of the greatest problems Nigeria faces in recent times is the number of sexual ecstasies and orgasms that lecturers enjoy with their students. How laughable. Why is Nigeria so blessed with citizens who think through the tip of their penises and the bump on their nipples? With many legislators that talk from every opening on their bodies, should Nigeria be glad or distraught? How does the sexual bout between a lecturer and the student affect the equivalence of the Naira to the Dollar? How does foreplay between a student and the lecturer affect the pump price of PMS? How does a twenty-minute seventh-heaven derail the establishment of good governance in every constituency in the federation? What marketplace is this that is referred to the National Assembly, by the way? What absurdity is this new bill that seeks to denigrate lecturers to a position of toys in the hands of their students?

First off, no responsible and diligent student would cheapen him or herself enough to have sex with the lecturer, under no circumstance. Many legislators married their spouses while they were students; now is this bill prohibiting lecturers from establishing mutual love relationships with their students; or is this referring to sexual harassment? In another light, anyone can feign abuse – in other words, a student who doesn’t attend classes, fulfill the requirements for the course under study and fails an examination, can wake up and cry, ‘abuse’?

This bill is a nonsensical effort raised by a bigot who is reacting to a personal issue that exists in his/her head or family. There is absolutely no justification to move such a bill in the first place; there are many levels of petitions that can establish when a student is victimized for failing to be laid by a lecturer. A confident student fulfills every requirement for a specific course which includes at least 75% lecture/class attendance, submission of projects, field work, assignments or term papers; attendance of mid-semester test, in addition to the final examination. Let it be known that a student who does not fulfill the required class attendance percentage according to Nigeria Universities Commission (NUC) is not admissible into the exam hall, except there are rational reasons which must have been communicated to the office of the Registrar as soon as the need arose.

Many times, students do not attend lectures, or sit for tests or other assessments but merely, memorize textbooks which they pour on their answer booklets should they have the opportunity to sit for the examinations. Such students insist on luring the lecturers into sexual relationships to get by, and when such efforts fail, they turn around to cry wolf.

The consequences of this bill under review are dire, and if Nigeria must redeem the academic glory of yesteryears, this bill should be paralyzed forthwith or reset to include every academic stakeholder. It is illogical, inappropriate, inane, and lacks credulity. The fact that one student was victimized by a lecturer does not pronounce all lecturers gullible and randy. Many lecturers who were discovered as failing students for not complying with their sexual invitations were dismissed without emoluments. Whenever such a case came up, a committee was usually setup and is made up of both the male and female genders. All investigations were delved into, summations were derived and all parties and proves were laid bare on the table. As soon as the fact of the case was established, the culprit (lecturer) was usually dismissed unceremoniously and this decision mostly dissipated to other institutions of higher learning to ensure that the lecturer would not be hired ever again in any institution.

Unfortunately, many students who accuse lecturers of sexual harassment do not either have sufficient proofs, or are basically unserious with their studies or perhaps, is clear case of love turned sour. A former president of Nigeria was once said to have started his journey to the marriage with his wife while she was his student in a College of Education. What the legislators should have done primarily would have been to investigate most of these sexual abuse cases, understand the background and proffer lasting solutions. If they are indeed, willing and astute enough to protect the educational sector of this country, besides a malicious attempt to silence lecturers, there should also be an inclusion of such penalty on a student who makes unfounded accusation of sexual abuse relating to a lecturer, or any student who offers to remunerate a lecturer to score a pass mark in a course in cash or kind with relevant evidences on ground. The same goes to any village head, member of the institution’s community, legislator, the Force, government workers, church leaders and other citizens who would cajole, coerce, pester or threaten any lecturer to pass a student in a specific course of study. This bill should portend an honest willingness to bring every culprit to book irrespective of the personalities involved, if it were moved for the benefit of all.

Like a social media commentator wrote in the thread of one of my posts, Nigerians are mostly bigots. They sanction only issues that favor their interests be it religious, tribal or socio-economic. When their wives, daughters or nieces fall victim, then they must use their powers to work against it. Otherwise, many lecturers in many universities are owed salaries running into several millions of naira, yet no one questions the relevant authorities who collect the requisite school fees from their students to the last kobo, but do not pay these teachers who risk their lives especially in war-torn zones, terrorism-prone areas, and far away from their kith, to offer their services wholeheartedly, their deserved monthly salaries.

Many of these lecturers have nuclear and extended families to carter for, bills to pay and many other expenditure to handle, yet no legislator has called for a bill that should question the seizure of or non-payment of salary arrears of lecturers in these unfortunate circumstances. In many institutions, lecturers are owed salaries from three, five, seven, eleven and even thirteen months; how many legislators can survive for five months without salaries and other ‘back-kicks’ to be frank?

What do you expect an adult who is irredeemably broke to do? A hungry adult is prone to any misdemeanor at all; if not, why were the legislators very desperate to serve their constituencies if not the presence of the associated remuneration and wherewithal such responsibilities would fetch them? If they were really interested in only serving the people without any gain, would they be so desperate – jumping from one political party to another, getting into a truce or the other and seeking political godfathers and godmothers everywhere?

In a nutshell, it would be a good thing to know that at last, the National Assembly has taken interest to bring lasting sanity to the educational sector but this must be universal in approach, rather than a malicious method that targets only a particular group in this sector. Any bill that must be passed should contain an all-inclusive clause that would hold both the lecturers, the students, the village heads, government workers, church leaders and all the citizens of this country, responsible for anything that is uncomplimentary in the delivery of sound education as well as protecting the rights of individuals in the pursuance of education; ensuring also, that every actor in a case is given a fair hearing and every stakeholder in a misdemeanor is punished, irrespective of who and how many culprits are involved. Lecturers are not the only actors in cases of sexual abuse in institutions of higher learning. In world where human rights is the fad, anyone can claim to be sexually abuse; but holistic investigations would either debunk or authenticate this claim and both the victim or the false alarm ‘blower’ should face the music thereof.

 

GARNISHING THE NIGERIAN MARRIAGE

(by Ifedimma Onwugbufor)

There is no more sanctity or relevance attached to the institution of marriage today in Nigeria; it has become a dog-eat-dog venture. Married partners engage in silent tussles, suspicions, misgivings and malicious rants. Every day, spouses belittle their partners in very despicable manner, maiming and destroying people they swore to love and protect. Not long ago, a woman was killed by her husband, then a man was also killed by his wife; and last Thursday, a certain Ronke Bewaji Shonde was allegedly killed by her husband, Lekan Shonde who was said to have locked up her corpse with their two young kids in a room, and disappeared with her phones.

The social media has been agog with speculations of what may have caused this tragedy since last Thursday, added to the witnesses of the Shondes' neighbours who confirmed that the couple got into rows quite often. Barely twenty hours ago, Lekan spoke from his hiding to Punch newspaper presenting a vague, spiteful and shady account of what transpired between him and his late wife. He accused his wife of infidelity, much like many Nigerian partners do. He claimed that he heard a telephone conversation between his late wife and some man, speculatively her boyfriend. She was dating her boss who was the General Manager of a publishing firm, according to Lekan; and the two lovers had traveled to Abuja prior to this incident where they spent four nights in one room, all deciphered from the telephone chat which he overheard. He confronted his wife and she appeared defiant. They both had a scuffle and he pushed her and walked away to go and buy food. Then, in the morning, he saw her sprawled on the floor but thought she was pretending to be a victim. He walked out of the home.

As terribly sadistic as this man’s narration sounds, there is little or nothing that can ascertain the truth behind this disaster save, a forensic inquiry since Ronke is not alive to speak for herself. That is always the sad fate of victims of violence - while the abuser is alive to deny every fact and make the story good from one end, the vanquished is helpless and usually has no witness to explain the actual incident. It is obvious that the marriage of the Shondes had experienced many hiccups, because if the man did not mention reporting his wife’s misdemeanor to her parents or close friends, it is therefore, beyond all reasonable doubt that Lekan Shonde set out to annihilate his wife for reasons best known to him.

This piece would seek to address the issue of domestic violence in equity, but there is no gainsaying that in most cases of domestic violence, the women are most hit because of their physical weakness. This is not to say that men thrive easily in violence in their marriages, but it is always easier for the man to handle because he has many choices and alternatives in a patriarchal society such as ours, which the woman is not privileged to enjoy. Although Lekan asserted that he asked his wife to leave their home, and she refused, it is true also that Nigeria is a land of culture and tradition; whereby a woman who is duly married to a man would not readily leave her marriage especially when she is guiltless, without being recalled by the people who gave her to her spouse. No woman just wakes up to walk out of her marriage because her husband just said to her to go; else there would be hundreds of thousands of women leaving their marriages every hour in Nigeria. Usually, her parents are duly informed or reported to by the husband, to withdraw their daughter if she was traditionally married to the man. It is then, the duty of the woman’s parents to recall their daughter till things are sorted out or so. This is not to say that a woman who is strongly under threat to life would not employ the commonsense of running for dear life first, even when she is not yet recalled by her parents. But for a Nigerian husband to wake up and tell his wife to leave his house is laughable and stupid. Simply unbelievable.

Many things are involved – there are children involved, there are shared property, investments, credits and debts etc involved. These things should be sorted out, and not just throw a verbal jab, ‘Leave my house’ to his wife. A respectable spouse who is genuinely aggrieved would not be violent with the spouse. The responsible thing to do is to report to parents or go to the welfare unit and state whatever pleadings that one so desires – divorce, separation, etc. There is no justification for any spouse to fight, push, slap, insult or denigrate the other partner even when in the right position of the case.

The definition and expectations of a typical Nigerian are always huge, and this makes the Nigerian marriage largely illusive. There is no theory that explains that a woman by the virtue of her sexuality, cannot or will never have sex with another man outside her partner. Just as there is no known explanation too, that ascertains that a man would not likely have sex with another partner outside his wife. It is high time the society straightens out these logical possibilities. Whether it is morally or religiously right or wrong, these are possibilities and happenings that take place. Everywhere in the world, every month, every week, every day, every minute and every second, a partner is cheating on his or her spouse, and the law of ‘thou shalt not be caught’ informally applies. The fact that a partner has not yet discovered or caught red handed a cheating partner, does not mean that partner is not being cheated on by the other.  People find themselves doing these things for one reason or another; or even for no reason at all. This is not a distortion of what the word ‘love’ is or means. People cheat on their partners on their own terms. No one can determine that, and many times, these cheaters do not even know why they cheat but they cheat.

A partner, therefore claiming he had a scuffle with his wife because she had a sexual escapade does not sit right. Few questions, some pronouncements and few phone calls should settle the matter for good or for worse. We either put up with such anomalies or we don’t. There are no hard and fast rules in earthly enterprises such as marriage. It is not about what you do or what you don’t do – marriage is a union of two separate entities, and must not involve a fusion of personal habits and values. It is a contract, in the first place. Every couple that decides to take a step or two further from that contractual agreement would be doing so at their own emotional risk. There is no certainty anywhere. There is no man than can swear to have sex only with his wife for fifty years in a stretch; and there is woman that can pledge that either.

This piece is not a moralistic non-fiction that tries to teach the reader how to live life and how not to; how to stay married or how not to; how to be civil or how not to. It only seeks to enlighten the Nigerian who goes into marriage what that decision actually means.

No matter what love exists, or what understanding happens in the lives of a couple in marriage, let everyone be watchful and truthful. When you have a partner who experiences constant mood swing, you don’t need a soothsayer to know. When you are hooked to a partner who is always suspicious of your every move, questions you over little or no issue, harasses you, shouts you down, intimidates you, distrusts you, stalks you, blackmails you emotionally, reminds you what a blessing he or she is to you etc., then you are dealing with an abuser, no doubt. If that partner is physical, after the first time, the first decision to take if you must remain in that marriage is to get that partner to sign an undertaking with the law enforcement agency office, a lawyer, a member from each of your families, and the children resulting from that marriage if any. These things have a way of putting people in control, and signing an undertaking to guard a spouse is the worst embarrassment any partner would have to face. Under no condition should any infuriated partner get away with a slap or a push.  The second decision to take is to mount cameras everywhere in the house without the knowledge of the abuser, and must not be disclosed to anyone. Even when there are no witnesses, the cameras can speak volumes. The third decision is to write a comprehensive narration that describes the threat under which that partner is and leave with a lawyer of closest family member, on the event of any accident or even divorce – it must not always be death. If after these, the abusive partner is unrepentant during the second chance given, it is time to move out. The native law and custom does not demand a spouse to remain with another until death occurs. Everything can be sorted out at a later date but death must be evaded as a top priority and it is nonnegotiable.

It is delusional to justify domestic violence on the basis of any religious book, be it the bible or any other. I cannot say with authority what the Koran and other holy books said about marriage, but conveniently I can surmise that the bible is not in any way, supportive of violence in marriage. Jesus addressed the issue of marriage only twice, during his ministry, and whether Christians want to believe this or not, Jesus Christ trivialized marriage in his own time. He said that the ground of divorce is infidelity, and again marriage was not a recognized institution in heaven. Later on, Apostle Paul wrote extensively about how marriage can be sustained and the duties of each spouse. There is no provision of abuse in marriage whatsoever. The bible technically can be likened to the constitution of the country. The bible sets instructions of living, and when anyone falters, he is deserving of hell fire; likewise the country’s constitution. As much as every bona fide citizen enjoys some form of freedom or another, any misdemeanor can speedily send that offending citizen to jail for as long as it could take. There is no basis to remain in an abusive marriage, and any religion that instructs its followers to do so is sadistic. Instructions are meant for responsible people, if God instructs one to divorce a partner only on the grounds of unfaithfulness, it is assumed therefore, that God himself does not expect a partner to do anything else against a spouse.

Domestic violence is actually a part of abuse; the latter being categorized into physical, emotional, and psychological. Violence in marriage leaves a bad taste in children and every responsible parent who realizes that an abusive partner takes advantage of a second chance offered should be making plans to vacate the house. The society should be enlightened to learn to let couples who are unable to coexist, split for peace’ sakes. Pastors and other religious leaders, the law enforcement agents, parents, friends and relatives should be mindful of how they handle marital issues that involve abuse/violence. Getting such couples back should not be the catch, but ensuring the safety of the vulnerable partner who stands to lose always in such cases. I have personally, witnessed three women lose their lives to psychological abuse and domestic violence in marriage over fourteen years ago. These things are real. They didn’t start today, such occurrences have been around but the difference is that the social media today, has become a vibrant means of information circulation, which makes it possible to publicize such incidents as soon as they happen. Pregnant women lose their lives consistently, due to high blood pressure arising from abuse in marriage. Men have suffered stroke due to the same reasons. The list is boundless, but the fact remains that many children have been left alone without a parent on the altar of misfit marriages which marriage counselors, priests, pastors and men of God, parents, friends and welfare officers have refused to yank off. Marriage cannot be dissolved in the Catholic church; this is most improper and that dogma should be reformed as soon as possible. Apart from infidelity, there are many other reasons why a marriage may no longer stand, and a partner must have to walk away honorably. I have also learnt of abused people who ended up in jail because they decided to put up a fight against a violent partner who ended up being the victim in that row. That is how innocent persons who have suffered violence in the hands of their partners for a long time, had fallen into trouble for defending themselves. If divorce or separation can keep a couple alive for their kids, what is then wrong or should people’s lives be destroyed for no reason at all? What logical explanation does that hold?

As for the Shondes, it is going to be a long trip to the truth. The female medical doctor at LUTH died, and even her mother exonerated her husband. Already, a neighbor is exonerating Lekan Shonde. The pastor of RCCG where Ronke Shonde worships is already exonerating Lekan using a hopeless logic, ‘I have never seen any mark on violence on her body’, like he sees her have her bath everyday. Those shenanigans that make genuine cases look cheap. Who knows what Ronke’s mother and sister, Bolatito would say tomorrow? Nigerians always jump the gun. Ronke’s husband already revealed Ronke entertained fear for her life not long ago in the hands of her husband, for undisclosed reasons.

Unfortunately, Ronke failed to act quickly. She failed to do the right thing. Now, holistic efforts would have to be put into getting her husband to be brought to book. Walking away from a violent partner would remain the best decision ever.

YOUR LAND OR YOUR BLOOD

This write-up was shared by an educated fulani man and seems to represent the mind of an average fulani man.

Read and learn more about the fable titled, "One Nigeria"

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YOUR LAND OR YOUR BLOOD

(By Adamu Mohammed)

Ever since President Muhammadu Buhari took over the mantle of leadership of this great country Nigeria, we(Hausa-Fulanis) have come under severe media attack from enemies of progress. Just because they are educated than us, they stereotype us with negativity. Just because they own and control the media, they use the media against us.

But let me make something clear to you stupid fellows hating us, whether you love us or hate us, it doesn't change anything. We are who we are and we will continue to remain like that. We hate you even more and we can never love you because you are all infidels. I pity those of you who keep deluding yourselves that we can love and trust you simply because you worked against your people to our own advantage, never!

I heard that the stupid Governor of Oyo State, Ajimobi said that they won't accept the proposed Grazing Bill. But my message to the filthy Yoruba pig is that, if you don't want to give us your cursed land, we will rear our cattle not only on your farmlands but in your churches. And if you try to stop us, we would killed your chicken hearted men like rabbits then turn your mothers, wives, sisters and daughters to our sex slaves like we have always done.

It is either you give the whole of South to us to use as grazing reserve or we soak it with your blood. And what you would do like you always do is noise on Facebook and Twitter. you cannot be united against us because there would always be the likes of Tinubu, Amaechi and Okorocha in your midst who will divide you for selfishness and love of money. Such treacherous characters can't survive in our midst because we burn them and their families.

I so much detest Southern Christians because they are the problem of this country. If I have my way, there won't be any functional church in this country, especially in the North. That's why I am so much happy with Governor El-rufai who is living up to the expectations of Allah in Kaduna State. We are not really pleased with President Muhammadu Buhari who is too slow to implement everything we asked him to implement in this country for us, he has not even done 20% of the Northern/Islam agenda, what he is waiting for I don't know.

We will make life unbearable for Igbos like they are in Hell, and yet we won't let them have their useless Biafra because the whole of South is a conquered territory. We can never see Yorubas as allies no matter how hard they try to please or serve us because they are born traitors and infidels. Those slaves in the Middle Belt would continue to be willing tools in our hands, and the day they attempt to raise their heads, we will cut off their heads like weeds. I lack words to tell the inconsequential and always crying Niger Delta because what we are waiting for is for President Buhari to declare state of emergency in Rivers, Bayelsa and Delta, then we will show them how to use power.

We are at war with you people but we won't allow the country to breakup because, natural resources found in any part of the country is our heritage and birth right. We will continue killing you in large numbers until you are truly submissive to us as your slave masters. We won't stop killing you until we fully takeover your land as a conquered territory. This is not the time to mince words, this is not the time to sugarcoat things, and this is not the time to be economical with the truth, this is nothing but the truth, ignore it at your own peril.

(This was shared by a Facebook friend of Adamu)