See Finish!

See Finish!!! … The day I heard this term, I was greatly amused; in fact, the most hilarious joke I have heard recently and I kept laughing after many days. Kola, my male friend shared this with me and made much effort to describe what that term means, in the Naija context, in the most thrilling and entertaining manner. Kola is good at descriptive patterns and I always long to share ideas with him; there is always something new to learn from him. He has shared a catalog of male classified and I must say, they are quite informative. Hahaha … See Finish!!! One expression that I won’t forget in a hurry.

'See Finish' is a Naija term that generally refers to a situation where the enlightened Omo Naija seeks to ‘dump’ the enlightened babe because he has ‘seen it all’, so to say. This is an all-encompassing term that generally describes a situation where the guy is tired of the chick, in lay terms and decides to get rid of her for little or no reason. Meanwhile, the term is mostly used by the males in Naija – to describe the gallant male enactment. In a typical ‘See Finish’ situation, the guy sees a hackneyed lady who has displayed all nudity; expended her finances, ideas, passion and affection on the guy; while he simply sticks to affectation and lust. Now, the fact of the ‘See Finish’ situation is this: there is nothing new about the lady anymore, and there is nothing new to look forward to too.

I guess this explains one logical reason why most Naija ladies claim to be ‘born again’. Hahaha … funny, isn’t it? I’ll tell ya. When she comes up with this gimmick of being ‘born again’, sex is ruled out of the relationship and that way, she does not lose much should the relationship become sour. Let me remind you that ‘See Finish’ is a derogatory term that no cute lady would want to be associated with; yet the cute babes are mostly the victims of this life situation. It is a term that the guys hardly use but having a close male friend or brother, it is shared humorously and the wonder-term is expounded. As daunting as this term truly is, it has become the fate of many young women recently and the outcome of this realization? More and more ladies are trapped in their history and curled up literally in their shells. As the saying goes, the next person always bears the brunt. More women become less devoted and indifferent to relationships especially where the focus is mostly on sex and sexual activities. These relationships are the ‘See Finish’- prone types that usually amount to nothing but emotional and sexual exploitation of decent women. In such ‘See Finish’- prone relationships, the Omo Naija is more interested in sexual exploitation (and also, material exploitation where possible). But by what I am meant to understand, it’s got more to do with sexual exploitation than anything else.

In a typical ‘See Finish’- prone relationship, the Omo Naija hardly makes any sacrifices because he’s got a plan, and he mustn’t lose anything. He only rings the Naija babe when he needs sex; run errands or is in some sort of quandary. His conversations are centered on this – never on her interests, situations, health, career, family, challenges or anything that pertains to her directly. The Omo Naija is not proud of his relationship with Naija babe and makes it strictly private - and will never make any commitment, no matter how minor. He works with time; and draws up the curtain as soon as his enactment is done. The Naija babe is hopeful; putting in her best and generally being ‘Nice’ just hoping that things will work out for good.

Another ‘See Finish’-prone relationship dramatizes the Omo Naija suddenly discarding his principles while still living in them; and at the same time, coming up with conflicting theories to ensure that the Naija babe is packed up in one corner like used rug. A public guy suddenly becomes private, while still leading public life. And one wonders how come the change happened as soon as this particular Naija babe is on board. He hates to hang out all of a sudden as soon as the new Naija babe gets into his life. His hobbies suddenly become burdens; and his passions begin to haunt his life. The life that he still lives are theoretically disjointed to ensure that the Naija babe becomes a misfit, who must not expect much.

My observation though: In the Gold Coast, the women are luckier in love relationships. The enlightened men are more decent, gentle and devoted to their women; even when the women are uncooperative or seem disinterested. A typical Gold Coast couple usually courts for five years or more - for as long as it takes and the ‘See Finish’ syndrome is not rampant. The guys are more compassionate and kind: they have a way of looking at the other side of the coin. Empathy is usually the watchword; and having discussed with many of them, it is simple. One of them had this to say, ‘Many of us come from troubled homes where our fathers neglected our mothers and we just didn’t like the sight. Why would a reasonable person do exactly what he abhorred? Eeiii!!, it’s not fair koraaa’ Many of them adore their ladies and if you ask me, the guys in the Gold Coast are more interested in seeing their relationships work out than their babes are.

The term, ‘See Finish’ has come to stay in the Nigerian milieu because there are more adventurous men than the devoted ones who go into relationships as a means to free sex with little or no possibility of infection. The Naija babes already have a good grip of this syndrome and are built to handle them adequately no matter what – these constitute the fun of life; the ingredient that replaces the monotony of life’s occurrences.