The different faces of a typical Omo Naija walking the streets of Accra and Tema (now, these are the two places where I know my way around) gives me every reason to believe that humor is a part of the Nigerian culture. Though I learned that Omo Naija dey heavily engaged in diverse businesses at Kumasi (a place in Ghana which was referred to as the Iboland of Ghana because of their smartness, strong-will and ready to make money at all costs … hehe! All sorts!), I am yet to visit there, the farthest I have gone along that axis was Obuasi.
I find the Troski (aka Tro-Tro – Passenger Bus) experiences the most hilarious scenarios as I always looked forward to having the privilege of sitting by spectacular Omo Naija. Boarding the same Troski with them always gave me great pleasure - very entertaining experience. Na so I go just wish say we no go reach our final destination. Everything about them is amusing – their mode of dressing, their hair cut, their topics and manner of discussions (especially if you have a good grip of the Ibo and Yoruba languages) – you will chuckle all the way. Now, if dem come dey two of them, come and check out the topic of their discussion; you go nearly choke with laughter. Two of the remarkable occasions wey I board the same Troski with Omo Naija no go ever fade from my memory for this generation, I swear.
This is a young and robust man; slightly pot-bellied and wearing ‘sparkling’ skin haircut. – Na Ibo man Oh. His phone rings, and guess his cell phone’s ringtone: ‘Owu sa gi’ by WizBoy.
Then he goes with a thunderous voice,
“Nna kekwanu? Anom na Tro-tro. Anam eje na shed … Kedu maka Maduka? Ona arapuzikwa igbo tata? Anyway, o ji my number, mana gwakwa ya na olute na ebe ana akpo Tetteh Quarshie, ya tuo down, kpoziam, agam eche ebea. Meanwhile, kedu maka Oga Emeka? Ngwanu, kodi”.
(meaning, “My brother what’s up? I dey inside Tro-Tro. I dey head to the shop. How Maduka dey na? Shei, him still dey leave east (Eastern Nigeria) today? Anyway, him hold my cell phone number, but tell am say if him reach where dem dey call Tetteh Quarshie for Accra tomorrow, make him drop down, then holler me for phone as I go dey wait am for there. Meanwhile, how is Oga Emeka? Oya, Bye”)
Hehe… This Nna won’t give his caller any opportunity to even state the reason for making that call. He monopolizes the discussion and ends the call when he is done.
Funny Nwa Guy!
No matter how much we hide our identity, our tongue gives us away – it is never hard to tell. Just sitting in a Troski beside a young man, neatly dressed in a red Tee-Shirt with the inscription, “Nothing Dey Happen … Naija For Life. Gba be”, matched with a red and white-colored canvas and a pair of black jeans, also complimented with the strong smell of the Kenzo male perfume is suggestive of an Omo Naija. The next clue is a sudden blast of the track, “E no Easy” by P-Square which begins with a bang followed by very melodious rhythm, as a cell phone ring tone. The young man looks at the phone and wouldn’t answer the call – reason not known (is he undecisive about picking the call or he wants to entertain the other passengers with that beautiful piece of music?).
After a while, the Bobo go pick the call and goes, “Ahhhhh!, Segun ba wo ni? …”
Silence! – the caller relays the message.
The Omo Naija goes, “Eeh, so when him dey show because I dey rlush go Kumasi early mor-mor tomorrow oh and I go spend four days there sha”.
Silence again … and he goes again, “Ok, ma pe o ni ori fon, se o ye e? Mon losi oja ati banki. Ore mi sope oun fi owo ran se simi ni GTMT. Mon losi be bank kin gba owo na. Jo o ma pe e tin ba se tan.”
(meaning, “Ok, I will call, do you understand? I am going to the market and the bank. My friend said that he sent me money through GTMT. So, I am going to the bank to cash it. Please I will call u later”)
He hangs up – this is the Yoruba Omo Naija in a Troski.
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